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16 year of girl comes back home pregnant – What should a “good parent” do?

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Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – 16 year of girl comes back home pregnant – What should a “good parent” do?

key notes: No parent will delight in his/her daughter coming home with such dishonor, however what is a good parents responsibility/response in such a situation; after-all i have seen many cases where the parents are blamed.

Find out ASD ANALYST’s thoughts….

Chamii

chamii

Chams could not join us today

Jeremiah

Jeremiah

First and foremost, i believe there is no such thing as a ‘good’ parent. There is no patented ‘good-meter’ to measure how good or bad a parent is, nor is there a parenthood manual. Each parent, our parents did their best with what they knew. We too shall do our best with what we know.

On this particular scenario, there are so many unsaid latent issues. Is the parent a single parent? How close is the lady to her dad? How economically empowered is the family? What is the temperament of both the parent(s) and the young lady? Was she raped? Did the lady own up, or was the preggy discovered? Was is the social standing of the parents? I choose to call her young lady because in this present dispensation, a 16 year old no longer fits into a ‘girl’.

After the parents have reacted to, and absorbed the shock of discovering that their baby girl is fast on the journey to becoming a mother, i opine that they should still try and show her love. No matter what we worry that ‘people’ think, when the chips are down, the lady is still their daughter! There is a particular family that i know that adopted their grandchild, to free their daughter to pursue her dreams as a way of supporting her.

This topic is like ogunfe meat, we can keep analyzing and dissecting. I wonder what i too would do if my beloved daughter shows up with an unplanned pregnancy. Thanks

Mr.Wells

wells

Asking what happened and who got her pregnant will not solve anything. Its like crying over spilled milk.

And Personally i don’t like beating around the bush when there is a problem… You know me for that **winks.

But seriously, Her age and future are the most important factors here… A teenage girl with a child is not a good start for the future, not even for the guy responsible.

I can’t see her raising a child when she is just ripe for a bright future. As a parent, I would not think twice about getting an abortion.

I will definitely be mad. But being mad can’t solve problems and obviously, I have failed by letting my guards down, to let such a thing happen. But, you can’t follow you teenage children everywhere.

So that’s why sex education is very important, teenagers should really understand the responsibilities involved.

For a 16 years old girl to come home pregnant. I will definitely blame the parents, Most times parents distant themselves from their children even all these kids want to do is be close to them and also share their thoughts with them.

So i stick with get an abortion and educate the child after everything, and open yourself to that child and make them free to talk about anything with you.

I know a lot of people will not agree with me, especially in Christian home where abortion or even premarital sex is forbidden.

But hey, this is life and things like this happen. I don’t believe there is a perfect parent. I just believe educating teenagers will go in along way in preventing situations like this.

Thanks Partner.

Zainab

Zainab

Hmmmn

That’s so serious however i will like to go straight to the point.

No parent will be happy with this am sure but i will scold her (i will try not to be too harsh because its not easy) and also let her know she has done something bad but that is not the end of her life.

She will have the baby and go back to school.

I don’t blame parents for the children mistakes anyway.

Guess Iyke

Guess Iyke

Thank you Chams, J, Wells and Zee. I will always appreciate you guys…ALWAYS

16 year of girl comes back home pregnant – What should a “good parent” do?

1. Fair and Firm: A girl at 16 has no business being with a man let alone being pregnant, but in this age and time where strange things are happening, we can only bend with the realities of time. The 16 year old girl needs love at this stage more than ever as this could be a “breaking point” in her life. Yet one has to be firm and let the 16-year-old know that you condemn the act in its totality (this should be done with love).

2. Who is responsible: Indeed finding out who is responsible will not reverse the situation but it can answer many questions like: Was she raped or was it ‘consentuos sex’? If it was ‘consentuos sex’, how many times did it happen? Is a family member responsible? What has the 16-year-old been doing with her time? Where has she been going?
If a parent fails to find out who is responsible, you might just be letting someone get away with a crime especially if the girl was raped

3. Never throw her out: I read many times where “Mother throws girl out with pregnancy”. “Girl delivers a child in uncompleted building; says mother threw her out”. “Mother throws out her daughter with her pregnancy because she does not know who owns the baby”. I can understand the anger and frustration of a mother but “You can’t apply a negative response to a negative situation”.

4. Don’t compare her with her peers: Never compare the 16-year-old to her friends/peers. You are only shutting her down. She needs to be reminded that she has many years ahead of her and its not the end of the world.

5. The end is what tells the story and not the beginning: Yes she might have began badly but her story is incomplete until the end. Many stars and celebs today began very badly; i mean many!! It is either swim or sink. A “good parent” will help his/her daughter SWIM through this.

I will end with this quote

child teaching

We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.

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