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His wife divorced him because he physically abused her, now he wants to marry me.

I confronted him with this information and to my surprise he did not deny it. He said he was scared of telling me the truth for fear or losing me.


I am in a dilemma and i need some advice outside my circle. I have dated this man for 8 months. His wife divorced him last year 2016.

We have been together for 7 months now and i love him deeply. From the first instance he told me he was divorced but i never asked him why him and his wife fell apart as i never knew our relationship will come this far.


It was about 4 months into our relationship that i started asking questions about his ex and why they parted ways. He evaded my question for a long time and even lied about it at one point. But i just knew that his stories were not adding up.


Co-incidentally one day we ran into a mutual friend, a lady i had not seen in a long time. When i realized that she knew him so well, i took advantage of that and i called her later and we met. She told me everything.


How he abused his wife and how he almost killed her. In fact she lost a 3-month pregnancy because of how much he beat her up and that was when she divorced him. In fact she said that the woman’s’ family wanted to get him jailed but that the woman prevailed upon her family and the matter died.


Iyke this revelation blew my mind. But he has been so nice, so gentle. Is it that he has changed or that he is doing a good job in hiding his real self? So many questions.


I confronted him with this information and to my surprise he did not deny it. He said he was scared of telling me the truth for fear or losing me.


In fact, he proposed to me but i asked him to please give me some time. I am really confused.

If i tell my family all these details, i am 100% sure that they will never support the marriage, especially my mum. What do you think i should do please?


Wow, i posted a story the other day and after reading yours, i suddenly do not know which is most impactful. In fact, i cannot answer this alone. I am putting it up for my ASD Analyst to give their opinion. Please check your mail as i have sent you an email.

Thank you for sharing your TRUE STORY with GUESS IYKE. I wish you the best in whatever decision(s) you make plus please look out for comments on this thread. God bless u plenty.

Guess Iyke

Thank you for reading GUESS IYKE’s TRUE STORIES..Beta to follow you..


  1. Based on what you shared, these is my opinion:
    1. I can’t tell you marry him, or not. It is solely your decision.
    2. I would like you to watch out for patterns. He deliberately didn’t tell you why he and his ex were divorced,despite you asking. What else has he hidden from you?
    3. Why do you want to get married at all? Why do you want to get married to him? Despite his good side, can you endure if he occasionally beats you up? Would you consider learning self defense skills before the wedding if you really love him and wish to spend the rest of your life with him? No matter how hot tempered a person is, if he sees MOPOL, he would be gentle. Can you be that mopol?
    4. His wife left 8 months ago. He started dating you 7 months ago, and wants to rush you into marriage, deliberately withholding vital information from you. In your own opinion, what sort of relationship are you in? Have you heard about rebound relationships and the high tendency for them to crash?
    5. Is he officially divorced, or just separated? Can he show you the certificate of divorce? Divorce takes some time to be finalized in court o, so that you don’t end up being in an abusive relationship which you think it is marriage, but legally, under the constitution of Nigeria, he might just be separated but still married to that woman. If he cannot produce the divorce certificate and you ‘marry’ him, that your marriage is null and void and both of you would end up being prosecuted for polygamy.

    You can contact Guess Iyke for my contact if you desire professional counselling services. All the best


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