Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – How “financially” stable should a bachelor be before he gets married?
Key notes: What is “financial maturity” for a bachelor? “Given that the age is right”. Does he have to have a car? Own a house? Bla bla bla to qualify him as “financially stable” or “financially matured” for marriage.
Financial stability and security is HUGELY important to me before going into marriage, and I think it should be important to everyone. You’re going to be living together, building a life and a family together, and its going to be outrageously stressful and difficult to do that if you guys aren’t financially secure.
It doesn’t mean that you have to wait to be LOADED in order to be ready for marriage, but you should have a steady, secure source of income and enough money saved up to afford a nice place together, to be able to pay the bills and to live comfortably and provide for your children.
I can’t stand seeing people that have rushed into marriage without being financially ready for it, and their children are usually the ones that have to suffer. They live paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by and can’t afford a lot of things that would provide a nice home and safe, comfortable lifestyle for their children and for themselves.
I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but I wouldn’t even consider agreeing to marry someone who was still living with his parents. If he can’t even afford to live on his own and support himself, how is he going to be able to afford living with me and providing for a family?
Its a legitimate concern. It also could speak volumes about his ability to manage money, budget and save and that’s a huge red flag because money issues sometimes are one of the BIGGEST reasons that couples end up getting divorced. It can put enormous stress and pressure on a family and tear a husband and wife apart. Someone who is irresponsible with his money would most likely end up being irresponsible with his family’s money and nobody wants that concern when they marry someone.
I want to marry someone that I would feel comfortable having a joint account with, someone who I wouldn’t be scared would mismanage our finances. Someone who is responsible and mature and can provide for my family.
Its wonderful to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, but that doesn’t mean that you guys should get married the second you decide you want to be together forever. I think its more romantic to want to put yourself in a position where you can provide for your family and actually build a life together.
No lady would want to marry a man that can not provide for his family and I don’t see how he can do that when he is not financially stable.
It is very very important. At least those basic necessities that can make life easier for the new family.
Financial maturity in this context of getting married in Nigeria can be hilariously described by me as having money to do all the weddings-Knocking of Door(s), Introduction, Engagement aka Traditional Wedding, Court Wedding, Church Wedding and Thanksgiving.
But basically, financial maturity for a bachelor can be described as having the means to consistently pay for a decent roof over one’s head. How decent is “decent” is relative to each individual. To a man who grew up in the village, decent may mean Face-me-I-Slap-you apartment. To the one who grew up in Ikeja GRA, decent may mean a 3 bedroom apartment at Apple Junction, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos, Nigeria.
Means to consistently pay for rent means a way of earning either active or passive income. Active income as a job, or a business. Passive might be inheritance, or royalties from an intellectual investment like investing in the Guess Iyke brand.
That of course can lead to the possession of other niceties of life such as a car, a house in Dolphin estate and a 24 carat diamond engagement ring. By this yardstick, it means undergraduates, teenagers, young men still living in their parents house (no matter how luxurious it is) are still deemed financially immatured for marriage even though they are in love.
Often times, we fall in love before deeming ourselves financially matured for marriage. Its the love that becomes the catalyst for the man to think outside the box, draw up a plan to achieve his dreams, communicate the plan to his beloved girlfriend, start small, hussle to get a small apartment for the time being. Its not being 40 years or being 25 years that makes one matured.
Its the ability to be self disciplined, to have average financial skills, to be able to communicate with a woman (they think differently than we men trust me), to provide leadership and to be courageous to dodge some extravagant cultural expectations that makes one ready.
Its important to clarify that preparations for marriage is far more important than preparation for wedding. As far as Nigeria is concerned, even if you have two million naira and you think you are financially matured for a wedding, you will end up spending much more. Ask Zainab my co panelist.
In conclusion, its not when one possesses great material things before one can deem himself financially ready for marriage. Fall in love first, communicate and align dreams with your girlfriend, get an apartment, delay the pregnancy, and hussle. Two will chase ten thousand is what the bible says. Marriage itself is a school where we learn to be better financial resources managers. Thanks
Hmmm… You will agree that financial independence plays a key role in a bachelor’s life before getting married. But how stable? well, personally i think that depends on some other predominant factors. The standard of living he wants for his family, Consistent income etc.
If he’s still having issues paying rents and what have you. Then he need to rethink.
Because unlike being single marriage marriage take a huge toll on your finance.
For me if you can provide the basic thing for a family, and have already yielding financial plans in place, you are good to go.
Unfortunately, Zee could not join us today. Get well soon Zee! From the entire GuessLinks Global familia….
Thank you my analyst’s for your invaluable time. I mean, this whole ASD concept is incomplete without you guys. Plus Zee, get well soon. I missed you on this one. BTW..Chamms..Nice picture huh! Jeremiah, thank you for the props! I miss you Wells.
How “financially” stable should a bachelor be before he gets married? Well, one can argue that the answer to this question could cut across countries, tribes, culture and tradition. Even in our own Nigeria, the answer to this question could be at variance.
Could there then be a generally accepted standard for the phrase “A financially matured bachelor”? Well YES.
1/ A house that belongs to the bachelor; Rented or otherwise.
2/ A good means of livelihood that can provide for himself and his wife and is prospective enough to provide for the forth coming children.
3/ Money enough to carter for the bachelor’s traditional wedding or otherwise (By a standard agreed between bachelor and his fiancee)
I wish to dwell on number 3 for a while. The society has gradually set unnecessary standards for our young men and this has put pressure on bachelors. Who the heck said that you must wear 45,000 naira shoes for your wedding? Who the heck said that you must have a “convoy of state of the art” cars for your wedding? Who the heck said that you must travel to Ghana or UK or US for honey moon? Hey! All these things are good but “if you don’t have it, you don’t have it”. “Are we preparing for a show, a wedding or marriage?
The truth is;
** I have seen many folks who got married with nothing yester-years that are very rich today. I have also heard stories of folks that got married in wash-wash riches yester-years that are begging for food today.
** Many who had ostentatious marriages ended up divorced after months or even weeks.
How “financially” stable should a bachelor be before he gets married? “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD”. Proverbs 18:22 ( this says a lot ).
I remember the phrase “love is comfort”. “Romance is finance”… Smiles. Money is awesome, yes it is but i subscribe to the fact that: “You must not have it all” before you get married...Once God is involved he can make small beginnings have surplus endings.
We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.