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My parents refused him because he’s not my tribe; 5 years after they are frustrating me

In fact one time my mum said “You will not go and get married, you are busy jumping from one party to another”. ” You have never brought a man home that he wants to marry you”. “You are my only daughter, at your age i was married”. “Do not disgrace us”. Very evil talk Iyke.

INTRODUCTION

I am Yoruba and i write you because i am so heart broken. I am at the point of saying that i hate my parents.

MY IBO SUITOR

Someone came for my hand in marriage when i was in my final year in the university. But because he is Ibo, my parents rejected him.

Me and him dated right from school. He was in 400 level when i gained admission and we were very into each other. When he graduated, went for youth service and started working, he even became more serious with me.

I MET WITH HIS FAMILY AND THEY LOVED ME

He started taking me to his house and i got to meet his parents and brothers and they were all in love with me. It was very obvious were our relationship was going.

MY PARENTS WERE STRICT

On the contrary, my parents are very strict and being the only girl with 3 brothers make it even worse for me. From a toddler to an adult, i never saw any of my elder brothers bring a girl to the house, that was how strict my parents were.

I WAS SCARED WHEN HE PROPOSED

When my boyfriend proposed to me, i was very sacred. Not that i did not want to marry him but because i did not know how to approach my parents. I have never discussed a man with neither of my parents before and i was very apprehensive.

MY PARENTS REFUSED TO MEET WITH HIM

Finally when i broke the news to my mum that i have a suitor and that he is Ibo. She said…”Over her dead body”. In fact she said that when did i start seeing men to even know who a suitor is!!!

My fathers’ reaction was even worse. He said i am his only daughter and that none of his grand parents and great grand parents married outside our tribe and that i will not be the first. He forbade me to ever mention it again.

THAT WAS 5 YEARS AGO

Iyke, let me cut the long story short, that is how i lost my love and that was 5 years ago.

Hmmm! This life can be so funny. I am working with a car firm as their accountant and to my parents now i am ready to be married. In fact, i am now over ready!!

MY MUM GAVE ME A SHOCKER

Last 2 Saturdays, i went out with my friends from school and i came back late. Say about 10:30. My mum was waiting for me in the living room and as i entered she just started talking. “You need to go to your husbands how and behave how you like, as long as you are here, you cannot come back home by this time, if it repeats itself, i will lock you out”.

Iyke, that was not the first time my mum or dad has made such “evil” comment. In fact one time my mum said “You will not go and get married, you are busy jumping from one party to another”. ” You have never brought a man home that he wants to marry you”. “You are my only daughter, at your age i was married”. “Do not disgrace us”. Very evil talk Iyke.

HOW I MISS MY FIRST LOVE

To think that one very loving young man wanted to marry me but they refused just because he is not Yoruba. I think i want to move out of my house. I want to go get my own apartment before i lose my head. My brothers have asked me not to as it will not do me much good. But honestly, i am tired.

YOUR BLOG POST

The reason i share this story with you is because i saw a post on your blog one time….“Which should ideally come first”? Should i propose to my girlfriend before i inform my parents about her or…

I have come to appreciate this topic now given that i have had a first hand experience. I really do not know how to handle my parents, i am just tired.

GUESS IYKE

This is such a beautiful story. In fact, i had to read it over again. Thank you for writing and also referring to our blog post { “Which should ideally come first”? Should i propose to my girlfriend before i inform my parents about her or…}…My ASD Analyst, dissected the topic very well.

One thing that came to my mind while i was reading your story is that i do not know how much effort your Ibo boyfriend made to see your parents. I do not know at what point he gave up the fight IE if he even fought at all. You did not expatiate that side of the story and i wrote you on that too.

Secondly, i hope parents especially mothers who are reading this post/story will understand the importance of communicating with our children especially communication between a mother and her daughter.

Also i am surprised that at this age and time that your parents think that inter-tribal marriage is a taboo. Yes i respect your dad’s belief and all that but i was thinking that we are way beyond that now even as Nigerians.

Finally, i do not think that you should leave your parents house. I do not see that as a solution. You and your brothers need to have a meeting with your parents in a respectful manner. This could open doors to communication.

Thank you for sharing your TRUE STORY with GUESS IYKE. I wish you the best in whatever decision(s) you make plus please look out for comments on this thread. God bless u plenty.

Guess Iyke

Thank you for reading GUESS IYKE’s TRUE STORIES..Beta to follow you..

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