Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – Should i always tell my husband before i give my parents money?
Key notes: “As a married woman”: My mother needs some money for upkeep, my father needs money, my little sister needs money. should i tell my husband before i send money to my parents and family members?
Find out ASD ANALYST’s thoughts….
Chamss could not join us today
J could not join us today
Let me start by saying from the moment you decide to start hiding things from your spouse, you’ll find out the list of things will continue to expand. To cover one lie you need another and it goes on…
Here is what I think is right to the best of my knowledge. Talk to your spouse about sending money to any member of your family.. It’s your family and they should also count.
I’m not saying you should send you immediate family to hunger to satisfy them but we all know our limits and how much we can push ourselves.
You should decide every spending together and decide how things should go together.
From another angle I can say you (the woman) should have your own savings and still send them money. Just making your intentions still known whether it’s your money or not.
It’s always good to work together. Well, we learn every day and someone might have a better understanding of things. Iyke I have seen what lies and hiding things do to relationships. Trust is important and sharing everything makes it sweet.
Catch you next week partner.
Am so happy to be available on this one ,i can really relate with it.
First and foremost, it depends on how you run the finance in your home as a couple. If you run a joint account, you should tell your spouse before you withdraw from the account, if not you can tell your partner before or after sending but its ok for you to tell him/her for transparency purpose .
Even when some couples run joint account, they still have personal accounts where they can save for personal upkeeps and so on.
However,it is very important to agree on what amount to give and if the time is perfect for giving even if its from your personal account.
If you don’t tell your spouse, the same person may be asking from you both at the same time.
Thank you Chams, J, Wells and Zee. I will always appreciate you guys…ALWAYS
Should i always tell my husband before i give my parents money?
This is one subject i am sure many homes are facing. Especially as money is one subject that can tear a marriage apart. I will start by listing some variables that can exist between husband and wife:
1. A case where the woman works and the husband does not work and the woman is by default the bread winner.
Humans by nature are possessive. It is nobody’s fault, its just how we are carved. “I made this money”. “It belongs to me, so i can spend it how i like”…etc. So it is very natural for a woman who is financially independent to make financial decisions without consulting her husband. Note that because it is natural, does not mean that it is right. In an instance where the woman works and the husband does not work and the woman is by default the bread winner. You can see how easy it will be for the woman to give her parents money without telling her husband. It takes the grace of God upon a woman to be in this category and still inform her husband about how she spends her money.
2. A case where the man works and the woman is just a house wife and only gets money from her husband.
One will naturally say..”The woman has no choice here but to inform her husband after all he gives her the money…WRONG. The man can give her money for something and she can still spend the money on her parents without telling the man.
3. A case where the woman and the man are both financially stable and have surplus cash.
In such case, the woman can still say, “I made this money” and do what pleases her even if her husband objects.
4. Are we talking of small money like recharge card we give our parents, or monthly support we give our parents or paying school fees for our extended family members?
One can argue, i can send my mother recharge card money without telling my husband. After all its just small money.
5. A case where; from inception, the husband forbade the wife from sending money to her parents.
This could happen for various reasons and the wife could just resort to doing it behind the man, regardless of who worked for the money.
I will conclude with a very strong – IT IS COMPLETELY WRONG FOR A WOMAN TO SPEND MONEY ON HER PARENTS WITHOUT THE HUSBANDS’ CONSENT. THE SAME ALSO APPLIES TO THE MAN.
There has to be an agreement between married couples on how to spend money, regardless of who worked for the money. This is a real test of “I love you claims”
We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.