Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – Why are men scared of single ladies who live alone?
Key notes: – With reference to ladies who can afford living alone – We live in a society that frowns at single ladies living alone. Is this really a crime? Is there a justifiable reason why men should be scared of single ladies who live alone? Most times when a lady is ripe for marriage, her folks can so frustrate her that she moves out of the house to live alone (i’ve seen two cases like that). Why then are men scared of single ladies who live alone?
There are a lot of unmarried ladies who have well paying jobs or at least earn a good salary and can afford to stay on their own but are still staying in their folks place. But for our culture which makes it desirable for a lady’s suitors to come for her hand in marriage in her folks place, many would have sought to live on their own due to the freedom that comes with it.
The reality of the times makes this ideal no longer realistic because many unmarried ladies now find themselves living alone and far apart from their folks for various reasons. This could be for such reasons as getting a job outside of the city where their folks are staying or they may want to be closer to their work place due to transportation costs and efficiency, or they may want to escape their folks meddling in their affairs; especially if they start facing pressures to get married having come of age.
Some men are just too judgmental and scared of what is not actually happening. You don’t expect a career driven woman not to pursue her dreams of being a successful person because of what the society thinks.
I don’t see any reason why an educated and lenient person would be scared of a woman staying alone. If she is a goal-driven person, focused and very principled and can as well afford it without depending on anyone. No offence, I think it is just the ignorant ones that believes a woman should be in her father’s house for the rest of her life if she is not married.
In the Western world, at age 18 or 20, you are allowed to go start your life on your own. We are just mounting unnecessary pressures on the females in this part of the world!!!
They see any unmarried single lady contemplating leaving her parent’s place to stay alone as being loose and as such cannot attract the right kind of men to herself by so doing.
My advise for such a lady wishing to stay by should at least get a very close friend or relative of hers to stay with her as her roommate. This will serve two purposes; it will at least reduce this ‘loose lady’ perception and the roomie would also serve as a restraint against her excesses since her parents who could have played that role are not close by.
These men that are scared of single women living alone are only being ignorant. If you are really dating such women, you should know her well enough to know if she is a loose person or not.
A lot of issues are mentioned in the keynotes.
Firstly, I doubt if men are scared of single ladies staying alone. Personally, I used to like single ladies staying alone that time because that ensures there is adequate privacy, and there won’t be need to compulsorily buy gifts for roommates and siblings.
Secondly, I don’t view it as a crime for a lady to rent an apartment and stay alone. If I were a landlord in Lagos, I can and shall rent out my apartment to a single lady provided she submits evidence that she can pay my rent in a sustainable way.
If some men don’t want to marry ladies staying alone, then i think questions needs to be asked. Why? Is the man insecured? Because a single lady living at Lekki phase one definately is more financially empowered than a single man staying at Ikorodu. So if this man meets this lady, low self esteem and insecurity would be what would scare the man away! And relationships crash because one or both partners have insecurities they are not striving to overcome.
In conclusion, if single men are scared of single ladies staying alone, then such men should work on their self esteem, leadership skills and learn more about the basic needs of a woman. Living alone or staying with parents, it takes more than ONLY money to lead a woman in a marriage relationship. Takes learning quite a number of skills. Self confidence. Leadership. Patience. Sexual skills. Communication skills. Conflict resolution. Financial intelligence. Tact. Dilligence. Among others. And above all, it requires following Christ. Thanks
I must say this is just my opinion..So i’m saying this as why i am scared of single ladies who live alone.
People will argue that these same ladies lived alone through out their years is school so what is the difference now.
Arguably, women who spend time in school still have parent or guardians thus putting them under the watch of parents etc.
Now, living alone as unmarried lady makes men feel she can choose whats she does, where she goes to, who sleeps over and the rest.
Some men will also feel she will lose respect for them since she can now take care of herself, This is basically just ego problem in men.
If i may, i just sat down to think of this right now and realized all these are old fashioned mentality embedded in us. “Woman wey wan spoil go Spoil, Even for Papa front”.
Lets not argue about decency or whatever, there are a whole lot of good single women out there who are living alone and respect themselves.
Sadly Zee could not join us today. Hope to see you on our next post Zee.
Thank you my totally reliable analyst. Thank you, thank you and thank you. ASD will be nothing without you guys. Thank you.
Why are men scared of single ladies who live alone? I have heard this subject debated over and over and one thing that seems to be found common is that most men (note that i did not say all) are of the opinion that ” one cannot go searching for a wife with a woman/lady who is living alone “.
Men want different things from women at different times. What i mean is that for a man who wants sex, a woman who lives alone is a perfect target. For a man who wants to get married, a woman living alone sure has a QUESTION mark on her head. In fact one of the men said to me …”Guess Iyke, how can i tell my mother that the woman who i have brought home to introduce to her is living alone”? Crazy world right?
Why the heck has the society set double standards? For “sex” a woman living alone is perfect but for “marriage” she is not! Is our society indeed fair to women?
An important question to be asked is (1) Why will a woman/lady/girl live alone? (2) At what stage of a woman’s life is it legitimate for her to live alone?
It then will be fair to establish that whether as a girl/lady/woman, there could be legitimate reason(s) for the female gender to live alone. However, on the flip side, there also could illegitimate reason(s) for a female gender to live alone; Whether as a girl/lady/woman. One sure illegitimate reason is “commercial sex”.
On that premise most men have embraced the notion that single ladies who live alone are vulnerable, easily accessible and are more likely to fall “sex-prey” to lurking men.
We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.