Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – Why do people feel offended when corrected?
Key notes: It is common between ‘friends’-‘lovers’-‘couples’. (1) We often feel a bruise on our ‘ego’ when we are corrected..”Why”? (2) If your friend – partner – lover continuously goofs on ‘one particular thing’, should we continually correct them, if not, when should the correction stop?
Most people are too insecure to know that they’re not right all the time. I gladly admit I’m wrong if someone can prove it, and I do enjoy when someone enlightens me to something I didn’t know before. As long as they’re respectful about it.
What I can’t stand is when someone challenges something I know for a fact is right. I can’t tell you how many people have tried to bust my balls and then when I show them the facts they get all bitchy. It’s a total waste of my time. Most things people can learn simply by reading and educating themselves but it seems the vast majority enjoy stewing in their ignorance and spewing crap about things they know nothing about.
Pride is the reason why people don’t find it funny being corrected.
It also depends on how the correction is delivered. If you’re saying it gently, rather than like “NO stupid that’s not how it goes,” then they should be open to it. Some people would rather be “right” than right. I appreciate correction as long as it is given in a helpful way.
Google defines offense as annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles. While correction is the act of making something (such as an error or a bad condition) accurate or better : the act of correcting something.
Ok, let’s leave semantics alone. Basically, in Naija, the best english word for correcting is REBUKE. So Bae thinks she is correcting boo, but in essense, she is rebuking him. No wonder boo is usually bullheaded when corrected and vice versa. Boo senses that Bae is trying to conform him to her expectations, either by hook or by crook. And so he stalls and frustrates her, either deliberately or unconsciously. I think people feel offended when they are corrected because “things” are meant to be corrected, not “people”. It is a staggering discovery for me too.
Ok! That is cappish. In Naija, people feel offended because…. To correct someone, that means you are assuming the superior authority who knows all and is perfect, while the one that is been corrected feels defensive, inadequate and a failure. And the manner at which corrections are made in Naija is slightly overboard. We often use a hammer to squash an ant. Do u know how many pastors/leaders/caregivers who correct people and feel self righteous about it? They would even tell u: it’s for ur own good! I am doing it because of your future. And the self esteem of the corrected is torn into shreds. And the correctee continues the circle because that was how he met it, and that’s how it shall continue.
The very basis of correction is to re-calibrate the other person to meet our expectations. We all want to be in control of our surroundings, including the people therein. And thus we threaten, nag, manipulate, encourage, etc to get the person to “change” to what we want.
In conclusion, man naturally is selfish. But when we meet Christ, then a journey starts from Selfish Man to Selfless Christ. That journey takes a whole lot of time, and its relative to each person. As we progress in that journey, we see our imperfections, and feel less inclined to correct others, but to accept them the way they are and trust Christ to move them on their own journey towards Selflessness too. Your partner isn’t listening to corrections? Please leave him/her alone and ask yourself: am I perfect? If no, they try to accept that “uncorrectable” part of your partner as his/her uniqueness.
To my fellow analyst Zee who just turned sweet sixteen last week, may your strength and wisdom increase as your age increases in Jesus Name. Amen
There is no correct answer to this. Everyone at some point in their life got offended for either grammatical errors typos, dressing or other mistakes. I guess nobody wants to be seen as dumb or foolish.
Personally, i think the reason why we get offended is that we tend to think the person correcting us assumes the role of the smarter one automatically. But the truth is we are supposed to compliment each other and learn new things from one another.
It takes great humility and understanding to be corrected by others and willingly learn.
Speaking about lovers and relationship is still the same thing. One word to watch out for is Maturity.
I know a lady every time i correct her. I’m amazed by her maturity. She accepts instantly and is always happy i’m even bold enough to correct her. Ive never seen a woman like that.
I must also add that correcting someone is good when you see them either going astray or doing something irrational. You can’t always force them to accept the correction.
We may never know why we all get offended when corrected. Because i still do get offended sometimes. But, the correct thing i think we should do is sit down and digest the correction and see if its reasonable. Telling me not to wear crazy jean for example is a correction to some extent. The truth is its my choice to sit down and see if it makes some sense. Most times we don’t have to get offend. especially if its a correction on personal things and habits. We need people to look out for us and when we always get offended each time we push those bold and good people away.
At the same time we need not make our corrections seem embarrassing especially in public.
Zee could not join us today. BTW she just celebrated her birthday with her hubby. They are birthday mates….We all love u Zee and Hubby. Wish you guys many more years with beautiful grandchildren…Amen…Guess Iyke, Jeremiah, Chams, Mr.Wells..Peace
Thank you my humble, loyal and faithful analysts. God will continually bless you guys. Thank you for your time. Zee, we miss you on this one. Hope to see you on the next.
Why do people feel offended when corrected?
Arguably, “everything in life is an opinion”. So one could easily argue/ask,“why are you trying to impose your opinion on me”? Also, given that we all have different upbringing and that we grew up in different kinds of environment, it only is natural that our definition of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ might differ on ‘somethings’. Yet when we ‘metamorphose’ so does our ‘opinions’. I put up this Meme last year and it might help with this topic.
If your friend – partner – lover continuously goofs on ‘one particular thing’, should we continually correct them, if not, when should the correction stop?
The truth is that the answer to this lies in the individuals; we can use small notes, subtle text messages to keep correction alive…If “continuous correction” elicits a negative response, it is wise to stop.
We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.