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Will you tell your ‘friend’ that his/her lover is making repeated passes at you?

Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – Will you tell your ‘friend’ that his/her lover is making repeated passes at you?

Key notes: As a male – Your friend is dating someone and your friends’ girlfriend keeps making passes at you.

As a female – Your friend is dating someone and your friends’ boyfriend keeps making passes at you.

Many have gone through this and have handled it poorly and it had dire consequences. What is the best thing to do in such situation?

ANALYST’s OPINION

Chamii

Chamms 2

Chamii could not join us today

Jeremiah

Jeremiah

It is said that stolen waters is sweet. It is also said that the grass is supposedly greener on the other side. I completely understand if a friend’s lover crushes on me. But!

Firstly I would seek to clarify from my friend’s lover why she is making passes at me. Is it a crush and she doesn’t know how to handle it? Or she is on a mission to lay me? Her response would help me avoid jumping to hasty conclusions, as well as decide if am gonna avoid her to help her overcome her crush for me, or to tell my friend if she is on an all-all-out mission to get me.

Secondly, armed with the whatever truth she tells me, I would evaluate my friendship with my friend. How much is he in love with his lover, and how committed is he to the relationship. If it’s under three months, I would come clean and tell him his new “catch” might cheat on him, and tell him with evidence that she is giving me green light. If it’s a relationship they have invested time and effort into, I would withdraw from activities or occasions that would involve the three of us mingling together. If only I and my friend, cool. Once his partner is involved, I would make sure I come around with my partner too. And definately tell my partner, so as to avoid a potential emotional blackmail in the future.

Thanks.

Mr.Wells

Mr.Wells

I don’t really like to go deep on this. Its pretty simple. it goes both ways depending on the understanding of your friend. This happens all the time, and its takes a whole lot of boldness to come forth with this and also a great deal of understanding on the part of your friend.

Some friends will turn enemies for telling them the truth. while others will understand. But its better you don’t tell them at all.

WHY?

1. You will destroy your friendship, cause saying this is not a confidence booster for your friend. He/She might understand but you would have fully or slightly tampered with their self esteem.

2. You might also destroy his/her relationship.

I recommend avoiding such a person, never give them the idea that you are also interested. I know its tempting, But thats why we have self control. You can’t have it all. You can’t sleep with everyone.

At the end of the day you have either saved your friendship and let time expose such a person. Relationships with partners like that most times always self destruct.

This is just my opinion i believe people will argue differently.

Peace Guess Iyke.

Zainab

Zainab

There is no way on this earth that i will tell my friend such a thing. Actually, i blamed a friend for not telling me that my boyfriend then was asking her out but i later thanked her for not telling me because it’s worth it.

I would rather stay away from the two of them,keep my distance and form ‘busy’ for my friend than to tell her that her man makes passes at me.

I will not like to destroy their relationship, if she discover through someone else,fine,but not from me.

If my friend tells me such a thing,i will only discuss it with my husband and after argument,i will make sure that friend never visit us again, so, sincerely, don’t tell me either, just be responsible enough to keep your distance from us.

Guess Iyke

Guess Iyke

I always start with thanking my reliable analyst. Chamii is unavoidably absent today. Hope to catch you on the next one Chams. I appreciate you guys a great deal (You guys all seem to have found a common playing ground with this topic). Time is so invaluable these days yet you guys make out time for this..I’ll send my hug via NIPOST…Hope it gets to you guys..#teeth.

Will you tell your ‘friend’ that his/her lover is making repeated passes at you?

I will really like to underline the PHRASE ‘repeated passes’. Guys let us play adults here,For your ‘friends’ lover to make ‘repeated passes’ at you, it is likely that when he/she made the first pass, you did not handle it well..You likely “without knowing the implication of your reaction(s)” encouraged it or you were just enjoying the “attention” you were getting.

Hey..”Papa was a rolling stone”!! I’ve been around long enough to know how these things work. If your friends’ lover makes a “first pass” at you and you REBUFF it..chances are he/she will know..”this ‘one’ is not for the ‘taking’. I make bold to say that it will become a ‘repeated pass’ if the first pass was not “ungraciously rejected”.

Will you tell your ‘friend’ that his/her lover is making repeated passes at you?

Now if your friend has been to the same “school of hard knock” like i’ve been. He/she will ask you..”How did it start”? “What was your first reaction”?

However, i will make room for exceptions as i know there are usually “no straight lines in life issues“. So if you are caught in this “web”..”Will you tell your ‘friend’ that his/her lover is making “repeated passes” at you”? Here is what it likely is;

IF YOU TELL

** Your friend will always wonder if you did anything to encourage the act

** Peradventure they survive the storm, you will likely lose that relationship as both of them will be uncomfortable around you.

IF YOU DO NOT TELL

** Your friend finds out about his/her lover making “repeated passes” at you, he/she might feel betrayed and also wonder; “who knows if you also had ulterior motives since you kept it to yourself”

** Your friend will likely have serious trust issues with you

Smiles; It sure looks like a “lose,lose” situation. I strongly advice that once the first pass comes..rebuff it.

Dictionary defines the word rebuff as;

verb
1.
reject (someone or something) in an abrupt or ungracious manner.

noun
1.
an abrupt or ungracious rejection of an offer, request, or friendly gesture.

*** If you played your part well and the persons unwisely continues making passes..Please avoid the person like a plague.

We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.

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