Welcome to your talk show Impact Formula
Segment – Analysis of our Society’s Diaries (ASD)-(ANALYST’s OPINION)
Topic – Would you take up a lucrative job from your partner’s “EX” lover?
Key notes– You are in a relationship or maybe married and you are searching for a job badly. Your partner comes home one day and informs you of a very lucrative job(mad salary). But the snag is that the person offering the job is your partners ex-lover! Meaning that you will be working for your partners ex-lover. Would you take it or leave it?
It is not such a bad idea.
Some percentage of relationships or marriages end in divorce or separation. Some of these divorced or single men and women eventually remarry or date again. This trend means that for many contemporary women, a husband’s ex-wife or partner is a part of the relational picture, for better or for worse.
If u can resolve to let past issues remain in the past and to stay as detached as possible from events that occurred before you were in the picture. Accept that your partner and his ex-partner have a history that is all their own, and maintain a conscious awareness that you are under no obligation to assume the emotional burden of their relationship.
Make it clear that you intend to be a colleague, to be part of the team, rather than a competitor or adversary.
Establish and maintain your own boundaries, I see no reason why it is not possible to work with a partner’s Ex.
There are exceptions though, depending on the type of person the Ex is. Is he or she going to make life miserable or try to ridicule you by flexing his or her controls on you? Then I’ll rather stay at home.
So it all depends on the level of maturity between the two parties. It is not really an easy thing to do.
If a partner comes home and offers her spouse a job, I can make some deductions. 1. The woman is at least helping the guy search for a job. That’s encouraging. 2. For her to meet her ex, It means she risked all, swallowed her pride and approached her ex. That’s loyalty. 3. Meeting with her ex shows that they are on civil terms. No hidden things. That’s transparency.
Now as a guy, I would seek answers to some questions bugging my mind. 1. Babe, this your ex, is he calling for sexual favors in exchange for this job? 2. Can I bear seeing him without my imagination running haywire about their previous trysts? 3. Can I trust my partner to keep keeping their stance as a civil relationship? 4. How desperately desperate am I for a job?
Worst case scenario, I would swallow my pride, thank my partner profusely, take the job first, and siddon with my partner to reexamine how I feel about seeing her ex frequently, and plan an exit strategy from the job.
You actually said huge salary. First she is my ex.. Which means I am not with her anymore and I’m offered a huge pay. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s just pure ego or pride that will stop some people from getting paid. If my exs’ boy friend is offering me a 500k a month salary and I’m broke.. I’ll be a fool not to accept the offer. So what? It’s not like I didn’t.. You know.. I look ahead not behind me. Wetin concern agbero with over load
So her new boyfriend is richer.
Man all fingers are not equal, different opportunities come our way. Its just the way people break up and their view of life. My ex girlfriends are on my facebook account and even whatsapp.. We chat from time to time. If any of their boyfriend is rich. And needs a tech pro.. I’m available please..
Eww!!! Hell No!
It means they still see each other,I can’t imagine.
Well,the truth is that it requires deep thought. A friend once confided in me on what to do about this same issue, apparently, her boyfriend was seeking for employment and she happens to have an ex who has a company,she had already told the ex before she asked for my opinion,the ex then told her to give him sex in return of the favor, she said she can’t, he then ask for smooching and kissing alone (smiles ),I told her to break the transmission and stop talking to him.
The basic thing is I can do a favor for my ex without getting anything in return but everyone cannot be like me. My answer is NO.
On the other hand,If you trust your partner and you know he loves you,you can but ,sincerely, that I know that my boss is my partner’s ex is not gonna help at all,it means my partner cannot come to see me at work? Cannot pick me up after work? We meet at the nearest bus stop? HELL NO!!!!!
Thank you my totally reliable analyst. I just kept smiling while reading your responses. I love you guys more than you know. I need to show this love by crediting your bank accounts..soon!!(i like soon) Smiles. Thank you guys.
Would you take up a lucrative job from your partner’s “EX” lover? Deep sigh.(Objectivity vs Subjectivity) If you are very experienced then answering this question will not be very easy. I think we had mentioned here in one of our ASD that ” Jealousy is an integral part of love“. If this statement is indeed true, then we will all agree that the mind wanders a lot when it is in love. Especially when you “KNOW” or “get to meet” the person whom your partner has been with before being with you.
You begin to imagine how they used to kiss, how they used to sex, did your partner tell the “EX” the same words he/she is telling you? The mind indeed wanders a lot when it loves. So, it will only be natural that you will now ask your partner…”How did your “EX” get to tell you about this job”? Have you been in communication with your “EX”? O yes! Your partner might have a good explanation.
However picture this; Let us say that you take up this lucrative job from your partners “EX”. One day, you are at work with your boss(your partners “EX”). Then comes in your partner to visit you at work. So you are standing with your partner and the “EX”(who is now your boss). Not a very good scene right? Objectivity vs Subjectivity.
We really are all learners and i appreciate YOU my ANALYST’s for sharing your opinion. I look forward to more topics and your contributions. Thank you so much as we continue the conversation on this thread. Thank you for viewing Guess Iyke’s (ASD). You can join also our team of ANALYST’s.